Date Night!!!

It's official.  We've finally lined up a [non-family member] babysitter for the weekend.  I think Tony and I both know it's important to have some baby-free time, but we just haven't been very good at making that happen.  Frankly, we're usually just too busy or it's just seemed too much of a hassle to get things arranged.  Not to mention, H is at that stage where he only wants specific people around him.  He typically goes into hysterics when one of us or his favorite teachers leave the room.  Sheesh, that's a lot of drama.  So one of his favorite teachers from the day care has been offering her sitting services for some time now and we took her up on it.  I don't even know what we're going to do...I do know there is a cocktail (or two or three) in my future.  We used to go on what we jokingly referred to as "redneck dates" - O'Charley's followed by Big Lots.  Awesome, I know. 
When I talked to Miss S today, I explained that I don't even know what to do with a babysitter.  Does she come to our house, do we take him there?  How does all of this even work?  I think we got it all worked out, and so very soon, we will actually have a grown-up, baby-free date!  I'm not going to lie, having a little rugrat (even a pretty well-behaved adorable one) doesn't seem to leave a whole lot of time or energy for romance or relationship-bulding.  It's something you have to intentionally make time for.  Hopefully, this first "leave him with a sitter" experience will be great, and we can finally get around to some regular date nights.  Heck, even a trip to the grocery store together without a kid in tow could probably be enjoyable!

Things I Said I'd Never Do as a Parent #74

Use one of those kid-leash harness things, even if it's cleverly disguised as a cute little monkey backback.  I caved.  Enough said.

Things I Said I'd Never Do as a Parent #73

Okay, so I haven't really listed 72 other things I said I'd never do as a parent, but I'm sure there are plenty.  So I'm estimating this is somewhere around #73.  I remember a spirited conversation a while back (right after I found out I was preggers, actually) with two women about having your child sleep in bed with you.  Neither of the women knew I was pregnant at the time.  I was very adamently against it - as a regular occurring practice, anyway.  Sure, when a kid is scared or sick or needs some extra comfort, it seemed ok for him/her to climb in bed with mom and dad, but I had very strong feelings about that being the rule, rather than the exception.  Guess where my kid sleeps 95% of the time now?  I think the books officially refer to it as "co-sleeping", although I think that sounds a little too business-like (like being co-managers, or coworkers or something).  Others refer to it as the "family bed", but I think that just sounds weird.  Have you seen the film "Away We Go"?  It has a great scene that shows the stereotypical hippie family bed (if you're a new parent, or about to be a parent, you should totally check it out - fantastic little film!). 

That is NOT what I'm after.  I remember when he was just born and we were at our first pediatrician's appointment, the doctor very emphatically told us that baby should sleep in our bed, under any circumstances.  I nodded my head in fake agreement.  Little did he know that our first night home, we slept (if you can call it sleeping) in our bedroom with the lights on, with the little bundle cradled cozily in my arms.  Soon we were able to get him to sleep in the bassinet beside our bed, and eventually he graduated to the crib in his own room.  He did pretty well there for a few months.  We developed an unwritten policy - if he woke up any time after 4AM, we'd bring him to bed with us.  Eventually, his sleeping patterns got all jacked up, and any progress he had been making towards sleeping through the night went right out the window.  The only way he would sleep was in the bed next to me.  I found this frustrating beyond words.  He'd fall asleep in my arms, and when I would oh-so-gingerly transfer him to his crib, he's wake right up.  So here we are, all co-sleeping in our well-designed Ikea family bed.  It works.  For now.  If there's one thing I've learned over the past nearly-14 months about parenting, it's that you must be flexible and adaptable, ready for things to go exactly the opposite of how you had planned.  I realized I could try to get him to sleep in his crib, and I'd be up a million times a night OR I could let him sleep with us, and get a relatively good night's sleep.  When mom and dad have to be at work in the morning and need to at least appear alert, the need for decent sleep wins (for us, anyway).  I've also realized that nothing is permanent with children.  What works this week might be a total no-go next week.  And that's fine, we've learned to just go with it.  In related news, we have a Keurig coffee maker...it makes a killer cup of coffee (with no fuss or clean-up) in less than two minutes. 

It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times: Part I

I think that one of the most special phases of Henry's infancy has finally passed.  We are entering day four of no nursing.  It's hard for me to believe that I made it to the year mark, and beyond.  He is about 13 1/2 months old now.  My initial goal when I had him was to shoot for 9 months, anything beyond that would just be icing on the cake.  Being a breastfeeding mom for the past 13 months has been an eye-opening experience.  One of the more practical things I learned is where the best (breast?) spaces are to nurse publicly - the places that are the most accommodating for the physical act of nursing, as well as those that make a nursing mama feel less awkward (not that any mama should feel awkward or ashamed for breastfeeding in public - but lets face it, it can be a little odd to whip the ladies out in a busy food court or on the front pew of church!).  Once I got the hang of nursing in public, I noticed that when heading out with Henry, I instinctively would try to come up with every possible location on our outing that would be most conducive to public nursing.  Everyone has different comfort levels, and other mamas will probalby choose different places based on what's comfortable for them.  Before you start plotting your own breastfeeding map, check out the laws in your state/town/county - as many states now have laws that guarantee a woman's right to nurse her child in public locations.  So here, in no particular order, are four of my favorite breastfeeding spots.



Signifies a breastfeeding-friendly zone!

 Babies R' Us
Yes, they somehow convince us to spend tons of money on things we probably don't need and will only use once (peepee teepee, anyone?), but their Mother's Room is a favorite of mine.  When planning shopping excursions in Lexington, I always factored in Henry's expected feeding time, and made it a point to make it to BRU at around that time.  The quiet room (at least at our BRU) has a comfy glider and footstool, a sofa, and two nice changing tables.  While the privacy isn't absolutely essential when nursing in public, I found that I was more relaxed, that my baby was calmer, and that things were just all around peachier.  Feel bad about using the space with no intentions of shopping?  Buy a travel pack of wipes or a bottle of H20 on the way out.

Fitting Rooms
Almost all fitting rooms have a chair of some sort, and have enough room for you to park your stroller.  Sometimes, when baby is extra fussy, you really just want to shut the door to your fellow shoppers, throw modesty to the wind, and let the little guy nurse.  Again, the privacy isn't necessary (in fact, many states, including my homestate of KY, have laws that allow nursing mothers to breastfeed in public places), but sometimes everyone's calmer when mom and baby can share a moment quietly.  Two of my favorite dressing rooms are Macy's and Kohl's. 

Along the Perimeter of a Restaurant
There's less distraction for a hungry little kiddo if you're not sitting out in the middle of all of the action.  A booth feels more private, and if you can get a booth in a corner - sit on the side that is FACING the corner.  This way, your back is to most everyone else, and you'll have a little more protection should a feisty eater kick off your nursing cover (I know this from personal experience with an overzealous eater!). 

Family Restrooms/Women's Lounges/Nursing Rooms
Many shopping destinations now have family bathrooms - expanded bathrooms that often have additional seating (in addition to THE seat!).  Nicer department stores often have "Women's Lounges" attached to their restrooms - a nice seating area with plush sofas and armchairs, and all of the perfume samples a girl could want!  On a recent trip to the mall, I also noticed a "Nursing Room" in the food court!  All of these are a far cry from days when women felt they had no choice but to sit hidden away in a bathroom stall, nursing her baby.  As my cousin once told me, "I wouldn't want to eat my dinner in a public bathroom, so why should my baby have to eat there?".  So true!!!  Each of the three locations mentioned in this paragraph is some sort of extended bathroom, but with much more dignity and comfort than being trapped behind a stall door.  My specific pick?  Check out the Women's Lounge at your local Macy's.  Plus, it's a fun place to people watch!

So there are my top four nursing locales.  I was hoping for an even five, but realized that most of my outings with Henry include shopping and eating, so the above about sum it up!  One final place, that receives an honorable mention, is your car!  While it's not public - it's the perfect spot for an emergency feeding.  You can control the temperature and select your own music!

The Mall Mutterer

My future???  Uh-Oh.

I guess I don't get out much by myself these days.  I went to Fayette Mall yesterday - needed to exchange some pants and do some window shopping.  I don't know the last time I was at the mall by myself.  I kept realizing that I was talking to myself - out loud.  I was quiet about it, but still!!  I caught myself muttering about all of the people I saw (you know there are always lots of crazies at the mall).  Have I always talked to myself?  Have I always been so judgmental about strangers?  I mean, I saw one lady whose hairsprayed, teased bangs would have put any 80s pageant queen to shame.  And the mother and her two daughters in front of me in the Starbuck's line had not only apparently never been to Starbuck's before, but had maybe been never been in public (hurry up and order already, I NEED my tall white mocha stat!).  I also caught myself listening in on people's conversations and then muttering to myself, "That's what she said," or "Your mother (insert what they said here)".  Perhaps it's time for a mental health evaluation??  The funny thing is that I would have carried on these same conversations had one of my best girls been with me, but they weren't with me.  I was alone...and crazy.  I also realized that I'm still using the "I just had a baby" line when trying on clothes, even though 13 months ago doesn't exactly qualify as "just had a baby".  Tha nice Banana Republic lady came to check on me in the fitting room.  I explained that the length was perfect, but the pants were a tad snug.  They didn't have the next size up, so she asked if she could see the pants on me.  I came prepared, and had on some of those thigh/waist trimmers.  They weren't working.  I timidly opened the door to this cute, petite little blonde, and I blurted out, "I'm wearing some thigh trimmers and I just had a baby!" feeling compelled to explain the beautiful pants that seemed to have sausages stuffed in them.  She insisted they would stretch a bit, that I would probably lose some weight, and that she thought they were perfect.  I agreed with her and got the pants.  After all, she gets paid the big bucks to convince people to buy clothes, right?  Anyway, all in all I had a great day at the mall.  I also almost got a margarita at the food court Mexican restaurant, but that seemed to really be pushing it.  If I was already muttering to myself, a shot of tequila certainly couldn't help the situation (although it probably couldn't have hurt it much, either!).

New Wheels

We did it.  We bit the bullet - said Goodbye, Subaru and Hello, Honda!  While I am beyond thrilled to be driving a new(er) car, I have to admit I was a little sad to say adios to my sweet little Outback.  I've always considered myself a Subaru girl - ever since my New England grandparents gifted me with their 1986 Subaru Wagon (the Outback's great-great-great-grandma!) when I was in high school.  Though driving a Subaru earns many the label of yuppy-hippy, I think I actually kind of liked the label.  Anyway, when we signed the final paperwork to officially relinquish ownership of the Outback, I was sad.  We finished cleaning her out, under the watchful eye of one of the dealership employees (apparently he thought we might steal a dirty floormat or add a scratch to the already banged-up bumper), shook hands with him, and then he drove her away.  "Where's he taking her?" I asked Tony.  "It's a car, Katie, not a person," he replied.  We climbed in our shiny new CR-V, and headed off in the same direction that the guy drove the Subaru, but she was no where in sight.  Just like that, she drove right out of my life - for some other bargain-hunting yuppy-hippy to have.  I have to say, Honda-life isn't so bad.  I do miss the heated leather seats, but am pleasantly surprised that the CR-V gets a little better gas mileage than the ol' wagon.  Plus, there are eight cupholders.  What else could I want in a car?