The Mall Mutterer

My future???  Uh-Oh.

I guess I don't get out much by myself these days.  I went to Fayette Mall yesterday - needed to exchange some pants and do some window shopping.  I don't know the last time I was at the mall by myself.  I kept realizing that I was talking to myself - out loud.  I was quiet about it, but still!!  I caught myself muttering about all of the people I saw (you know there are always lots of crazies at the mall).  Have I always talked to myself?  Have I always been so judgmental about strangers?  I mean, I saw one lady whose hairsprayed, teased bangs would have put any 80s pageant queen to shame.  And the mother and her two daughters in front of me in the Starbuck's line had not only apparently never been to Starbuck's before, but had maybe been never been in public (hurry up and order already, I NEED my tall white mocha stat!).  I also caught myself listening in on people's conversations and then muttering to myself, "That's what she said," or "Your mother (insert what they said here)".  Perhaps it's time for a mental health evaluation??  The funny thing is that I would have carried on these same conversations had one of my best girls been with me, but they weren't with me.  I was alone...and crazy.  I also realized that I'm still using the "I just had a baby" line when trying on clothes, even though 13 months ago doesn't exactly qualify as "just had a baby".  Tha nice Banana Republic lady came to check on me in the fitting room.  I explained that the length was perfect, but the pants were a tad snug.  They didn't have the next size up, so she asked if she could see the pants on me.  I came prepared, and had on some of those thigh/waist trimmers.  They weren't working.  I timidly opened the door to this cute, petite little blonde, and I blurted out, "I'm wearing some thigh trimmers and I just had a baby!" feeling compelled to explain the beautiful pants that seemed to have sausages stuffed in them.  She insisted they would stretch a bit, that I would probably lose some weight, and that she thought they were perfect.  I agreed with her and got the pants.  After all, she gets paid the big bucks to convince people to buy clothes, right?  Anyway, all in all I had a great day at the mall.  I also almost got a margarita at the food court Mexican restaurant, but that seemed to really be pushing it.  If I was already muttering to myself, a shot of tequila certainly couldn't help the situation (although it probably couldn't have hurt it much, either!).